New Media in Love



"Love" is the English word which describes the intense feeling of deep affection towards a person or thing. It is commonly expressed between those dear to heart like, parents, siblings, family in general, friends and significant others. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

Love may be understood as a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species.

Definitions
The word "love" can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. Many other languages use multiple words to express some of the different concepts that English relies mainly on "love" to encapsulate; one example is the plurality of Greek words for "love." Cultural differences in conceptualizing love thus doubly impede the establishment of a universal definition.

Although the nature or essence of love is a subject of frequent debate, different aspects of the word can be clarified by determining what isn't love. Love as a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like) is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is sometimes contrasted with friendship, although the word love is often applied to close friendships.

Finding Love Through New Media
In the past couple of years there has been an increase in long-distance relationships. That can be explained by the increase in dating websites as well as the convenience some people feel of having a partner who is not nearby. The dating websites do not limit people to long-distance relationships, in fact they try to promote finding someone who is as close to you as possible (physically and emotionally).



DateMySchool
DateMySchool was created by Balazs Alexa and Jean Meyer who were Columbia business students and was launched in November of 2010. It is an example of a website which allows people to meet others in their school or their area. The website gives users many options in terms of privacy and who can and cannot view their profile. Someone can make their profile visible only to certain schools or hidden only from certain schools. There are 350 schools currently participating in this dating service. This allows people who are squeamish about the idea of online dating, and embarrassed to have their friends find out, to try it without any scrutiny. There are also paid and unpaid memberships and different benefits accompany each one. With the free membership you are allowed to browse other users but are not allowed access to their contact information or send a message.

eHarmony


eHarmony was developed by Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist who specialized in couples counseling, and launched in the United States in 2000. eHarmony bases its business and relationship building on scientific matching, 29 dimensions of compatibility and expert guidance. Scientific matching is based of Dr. Warren's 35 years of experience and analysis of marriage relationships. From that, he developed a way to score true compatibility between couples; he termed it 29 dimensions of compatibility, which is essentially based on core traits and viral attributes. Core traits are defining characteristics that remain the same throughout life. Viral attributes are life and learning experiences that shape one's personality as he or she ages. The system offers a clear analysis of the user's personality to match him or her up with a partner. Now, over a decade later, eharmony has expanded and is available in the United Kingdom, Canada and Australia as well.

OkCupid


OkCupid is one of the fastest growing online friendship and dating service providers. It was founded in New York City by Chris Coyne, Christian Rudder, Sam Yagan and Max Krohn (the four also founded Sparknotes). The website designed their matching system off the user's answers to multiple choice questions. It also questions how the user wants his or her potential date to answer the question, as well as the importance of the issue discussed. Along with their website, they also have a mobile app available.

Cosmopolitan also published a review regarding OkCupid's male users. The author, Alexandra Martell, showcases messages she received from men on the website which displayed their lack of social grace and a few sexist comments. This goes to prove that online dating may not be for everyone.

Match.com


Match.com was founded in 1995 with the mission to help singles find new relationships. Match.com allows its users to write about themselves in self-bios and post photos of themselves on their profile. Users can then contact each other, if interested, through the sites anonymous email network. Any contact information is kept private through the site's privacy policy until the user is open to sharing.

In early 2013, Match.com was sued for $10 million, by Mary Kay Beckman after being attacked by her Match.com partner, Wade Mitchell Ridley. The two had allegedly gone out for 10 days and after Beckman broke up with Ridley, he continuously harassed her with phone calls and messages. Until one day, he stabbed Beckman and assaulted her. A week after the incident with Beckman, Ridley also attacked an ex-girlfriend of his. As a result, he was sentenced to 28 to 70 years in prison. This event brought up the issue of how safe online dating sites were and the responsibility of the provider to protect its users against sexual offenders and other dangerous people.

Christian Mingle


Christian Mingle is for singles that are Christians seeking other Christian singles. The site features instant messaging services where you can chat with others about various topics from restaurants and good movies to when they first started believing in Christ. Other features include chatrooms, Bible verse of the day, two way matching services and dating tips. There are options to adjust privacy settings so others can view only what you choose to display on your profile. This is a dating service that allow people who share the same religious views, beliefs and values to get together and see if a connection sparks between them. Their slogan "Find God's Match for You™" has caused controversy over using God's name to promote a dating service.

Plenty of Fish


Plenty of Fish was found by Markus Frind. It is one of the largest dating sites in the United States and in the United Kingdom. In 2008, it had an estimated of 36 million monthly users in the United States while it had about 8 million visitors in the United Kingdom. During the same year, Plenty of Fish earned approximately $10 million in advertising. People attract to this social site because it is free of charge. Anyone can sign up at no cost. The users are suggested to provide their personal information such as location, ethnicity, and personality to be used for the match making on the website. It will suggest the users of who will be likely to get along with your personality and background. It helps customizing the users' profile to fit the users' needs that can lead to a higher successful rate in a relationship.

Finding Love through the use of Mobile Apps
As technology has grown, love between couples can also be found through apps--where they can trace people within your geographic area and look around to friends of your friends to match you up. This helps ensure there is less awkwardness and give a more secure sense as the people they are meeting are friends of a friend. Many of the dating website mentioned above has also gone with mobile apps, but some of these love-matching apps are exclusively apps.

Tinder
Tinder is a fast growing location based dating mobile app available with Android and iOS that allows users to connect to one another anonymously through the app, even able to sync to your Facebook account to meet people your friends might know. Tinder is said to target and is widely used by those aged 18 to 34 year old. It is all completely free and all you need is a registered account. Users then download the mobile app on their iPhone or Android phones, and can connect through Facebook to create a profile. They can upload up to six profile photos. Users scroll through potential matches nearby and click on the heart icon if they're interested, or they can click on the X icon if they're not interested. If there's a mutual interest, you'll be instantly notified, and then talking via messaging directly through the app. Tinder reports 400 million matches to date with approximately 4 million new matches per day. One of the flaws in mobile dating app Tinder is that there are flaws in security in which users emails are revealed to one another as well as becoming Facebook friends without the users consent. This might cause an issue wit the future use of popular mobile dating apps if users feel that their privacy with strangers is in question.

Grindr
Grindr is a geo-social networking application geared towards gay, bisexual, and bi-curious men launched in 2009. It runs on iOS, BlackBerry OS, and Android devices. Available for download from the Apple App Store and Google Play, Grindr comes in both free and subscription-based versions (Grindr Xtra). The app makes use of the device geolocation, which allows users to locate other men within close proximity. This is accomplished through a user interface that displays a grid of representative pictures of men, arranged from nearest to farthest away. Tapping on a picture will display a brief profile for that user, as well as the option to chat, send pictures, and share one's location. There is also the advertisement free app called: Grindr Xtra.

Problems
Back in the 80s, “dating” meant the same thing to everyone. Two people who liked each other would actually meet, in person, to engage in innocent activities like eating dinner and watching a movie—and possibly other activities.

Today, in the world of Snapchat, Tinder, Grindr, Twitter, Facebook and the rest of it, dating can mean all sorts of things, and sometimes nothing at all. Are we dating if we hook up? If we “talk” every day over text, are we at least involved? If you don’t return my text within five minutes, did you just break up with me? I don’t know and chances are neither do you.

Raised online, millenials have an entirely different world to contend with—one that makes rules and boundaries highly individual and exasperatingly unclear. The onslaught of social technology means there is no standard dating etiquette anymore.

Issues occur when the number of online connections you have is more important than the quality of those connections, and when 140-character messages are given more space in your life than actual, unedited conversations, chances are you’re going to feel terribly lonely. And abject loneliness doesn’t facilitate healthy romantic relationships.

Dating sites and apps have also lessen the romantic aspect of dating and meeting someone in real life as many now use these sites to hook up. Last millennium 72% of us met our partners at school or university, at work or in networks of family or friends. The other 28%, presumably, met the loves of their lives by tripping over them as they lay in their own filth outside a Black Country pub. Or such were mating rites in my day. The internet is revolutionary because it renders it easy for us to make contact with people we don't know and, better yet, those who don't necessarily live within the area. But, this also means that people can lie about certain information as well as you don't really get a great understanding of them until you meet up in real life.